On Tuesday my baby girl turned one year old...ONE YEAR! Where does the time go and why does it seem I have to ask that at least once a week! Isn't that something your grandma has to ask as she pinches your cheek and tells you you have grown at least 5 inches since she saw you last? No, now I am there where I ask myself as I watch my girls literally change daily in front of my eyes and I wonder, how does it seem that I am sitting in this tornado of time and everything is swirling in front of me? I grab out as I see memories I want to hold on to and pull it from the debris in front of me as the rest of "life" is caught in the majestic winds and thrown to a place I can never find them again. This week I have been so emotional as I remember that day, February 7, 2011. It all started at 12:30 AM. I hadn't fully fallen asleep yet and I knew what I was starting to feel was contractions...maybe it's just braxton hicks, I'm still three weeks out from my due date! After about 20 minutes of keeping up with each one I leaned over to Derrick and said "this might be it". He had been telling me all week that he felt our little girl would be born that week and I thought he was crazy! I still had too much to do and other than being extra cranky there was no need to think our nameless girl would be here that early. I say nameless because we both had not decided yet on a name for our gymnast! Well maybe I should say I had not decided on a name! I loved the name Madison Brooke or Savannah Brook. Derrick on the other hand had been set on Ember from the beginning. "Ember? They'll call her Amber all of the time and we will all be correcting people for the rest of her life." I said. We told everyone that we were not releasing the name we chose until the day she was born, how clever, right?!?! Truth is, we had no idea what her name was! After almost an hour of contractions less than 5 minutes apart Derrick insisted he take me to the hospital. I was completely against it! My sister was supposed to be induced that day...this had been planned for weeks...family was here for her...this was her and Norah's day! I remember sitting at the end of my bed in tears partly because of the pain, somewhat because of the reality of it all, but mostly because I hated the timing for my sister. There was no stopping this though, it was happening! Many things happened in between the next 12 hours that I wont bore you with but believe me, none of it was boring to us! This was happening, and FAST! To summarize it briefly....we went to the hospital and were put in the triage room, sent home since I lived so close because it was going slowly they thought and we all felt I would be comfortable in my own home, go back to the hospital about an hour and a half later because my water broke ( that was fun!), put in a room, conversations back and forth from my sisters hospital room she would deliver in about 20 minutes away from me, I get to an 8 and decide to take the nurse up on the stadol she offered, dreamed about pink cupcakes and toy story for about an hour....I'M FEELING IT!! I wake up from my calming and tranquil stadol rush and I realize I'm feeling a lot of pressure. I tell the nurse, she gets a team in to check me out and she is amazed..."Yup, it's time to push!" It all went so fast but I am so thankful she gave me the courage to do this without an epidural. It was quick, painful and beautiful! Only a mother can understand this. At 12:29 in the afternoon our "fiery one" as the nurse had called her was born! The nurse had said she was fiery because of the way she was determined to come out! During contractions it was almost as if she was jumping on a trampoline inside of me and I will never forget the strength she had almost the whole nine months I gave her room and board in my very disturbed uterus! As soon as the nurse said that I knew what her name would be. As they handed her to me they said " congratulations, what is her name?" "Ember Noel" I said. It was perfect, it was her and she was amazing! She had a perfectly shaped head. Odd to notice, I know but that was one of the first things I saw. I remember thinking how perfectly tiny her little head was...THANK YOU GOD! She was 6 lb. 7oz and 19 in. Long. Pretty good for being three weeks early! Perfect toes, a strong cry, long skinny toes ( that would change!) and mommy's big mouth! Another perfectly healthy, beautiful and fabulous miracle. Many people came to see her while we were in the hospital which meant so much to us. When our oldest was born only my sister and brother in law could make it mainly because family had all came down to see her when we called to announce I was in labor....48 + hours later she was born and everyone had either gone home or could not come down at that point! (3 years later I see how that was totally Mac's style!) But, Ember was loved and felt it from that first hour. Daddy was there through it all and was completely in love, G-bo was able to see her from her first minute also and then had to rush for the next grand baby! Many friends from church, family, everyone full of excitement to meet this little treasure that chose to join our lives early and 2 exact hours before her cousin I might add! Yes, Ember was ready...but I can't help to think that more than anything God was ready. Now hear my out on this. I know, of course God was ready or none of this would have happened in it's timing...but, I'm very visual and sometimes my imagination runs away with me. As I hold my sweet daughter sometimes I like to think about how it may have gone before she came into my arms. I think God knew how "fiery" she was and he told her that morning at 12:00 "ok my sweet child , it's time! The world needs you now. You are full of energy, spunk, power and I need your light to shine. I have huge plans for you and they just can't wait. Your mommy has been praying for almost two years to stay home with your sister and you are an answer to that prayer. There is no need to keep her waiting. Lets do this...lets amaze this world with what I created! " The other night I shared this with her...I know if she could understand me she may think I was nuts but I cant help but think of the amazing plans God has for her life! I have never seen a child more alert, more aware, more ready!! Smiling in pictures the 2nd day of life
Astonishing her teachers already before she was even a year old, walking at 11 months! This girl's is going places and just like the day she was born no one is stopping her! Ember is full of life, full of fire! Everyone who knows her has already been touched by her smile and joy in some way. I am so blessed to be given this miracle to hold and love and train. Some days I feel so inadequate, so lost, so unfit for this job. It is in those times she welcomes me each morning with a HUGE smile and a strong gripping hug. Her happiness is contagious and her energy fills our home with giggles and ear reaching smiles. I am blessed to be given such an important job. Mom is the greatest name I will ever know!
Today we celebrated Ember and Norah's (Ember's cousin) birthday! It was so much fun and she enjoyed every bit of it, especially showing off her new walking skills!
She was given so many great gifts and even though she had other places to go and things to see, which is so typical for Ember, she stuck around to see what she got!
Cake time was fun, as at any 1st birthday party, but I truly enjoyed seeing the strategy she chose in consuming such a sugary substance!
She began with her hands in the full cake but as she realized there were fruit loops around it I saw her clever wheels turning and she chose to eat each one individually!
Cousin Norah also was interested in her fruit loops ...
And once again, something that so much love, time and manual labor went into to make a beautiful creation ....was destroyed in minutes...
And so worth it!! I could not have asked for a better first birthday party for my angel. She is tremendously loved and today I enjoyed watching that love all around her.
I knew the party was a success by her reaction on our way home!
To our growling, fiery animal, Ember Noel, thank you for the best year of your mommy's life. Being home with you and your sister this year has been a dream come true. Watching you learn so many things has been a treat! Holding you while you sleep (cause you can't sit still any other time!) and watching every feature of your sweet face makes me cry each time and thank God for making you and choosing me to give you a special life here on earth. Your eyes will always fill my heart with wonder and your smile will always fill my days with sunshine. You are a firework....Don't ever stop filling peoples life with your joy and light! I love you!
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