Sister, sister

For 25 years now I have had a best friend.  In our lifetimes we are not always lucky enough to have a good friend let alone a best friend.  My little sister has been just that.  I could write all evening about all of the love I have for her and how full my heart is with respect, thankfulness, excitement and pride toward the amazing woman she has become, but that is not where I feel led tonight to go with this blog.  Tonight I just want to talk about how much fun I had with her today.  The most fun I have had all year!!She took me shopping for my birthday, took me to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen (or "CPK" as she calls it) and made me laugh the whole time.  No one can make me laugh more than that girl.  Her humor is so contagious and the fact that all we have to do is give each other that "look" and we both can not contain the laughter !  The food was amazing and full of garlic deliciousness (that is still going! lol).  I got the cutest clothes...well anything is cute considering I have not shopped for at least a year!   We were able to get the party plates and some details taken care of at Target for Norah and Ember's 1st birthday party.    Basically all around an amazing day.  In the end I told her I just wished she could spend the night!  Boy do I miss going home with her and continuing the laughter!  I am so thankful for this woman in my life and for the memories we have made together...God only knows what's in our future!

Do over...

Have you ever got to about 10 AM and thought " I want a do over"?! I don't even know why I am asking this. Of course you have!  I'm sure most of the people who read my blog are mothers or wives and let's face it, we feel this way often.  This week I have had that feeling and said those words more often than I would hope to.  I mean I know that I'm not going to get it right every day. Mama said "they'll be days like this", right?!?  But why do they leave me feeling so helpless inside.  On these days I feel the silly little child in me come out with her arms crossed, head hanging and eyes puffy with tears.  Part of me is mad. "Come on God, just when things were going according to MY plans and then you through me a curve ball??"  There is another part of me that is frustrated.  "Really Mackenzie??  How many times are you going to ask 'What's that Momma?' You know it is Tinkerbell!!"  I just want to grab my blanket and my pillow and lock the door and pretend there is no one on the other side of the door banging and saying " more juice momma, go potty momma, what's that momma!"  Of course there is the main emotion I think us as women know all too well on days like these.  That would be that begrudge feeling of guilt.  As I am yelling at both of my precious, innocent girls (yes yelling!) one more time it hits me.  What am I doing?  I only have 2 more hours of my day with them and what have I spent it doing? It began with the growl at Mackenzie when she came in too early asking to go potty, the total grief I gave my hard working husband when he came in with news that didn't quite fit the plan I had in mind, the constant disgust I built up against my dirty hardwood floors that yelled "clean me" every step I took (I may have imagined that one up on my own).  Oh and lets not forget the time spent feeling sorry for myself because I had to scarf down my leftover pizza and the many other things I let the devil plant in my mind about my life and circumstances. On days like these I spend too much time on my phone playing on p interest, checking Facebook or trying to feel important on Instagram.  It was at 6:30 tonight that I realized " I will never get this day back with my girls, with my husband, with myself....with God"! As I finished dinner we ate and then I joined my hyperactive girls on the living room floor; one with a split lip because she decided to jump out of her crib cause shes just that crazy, and the other with her Snow white song twirling off of her tongue and heart, and we just played.  Yes, the kitchen was a MESS, all the food was still out.  They were not dressed for bed yet and Mac really needed a bath but we still just played.  I let them climb all over me, I giggled at pointless things, I was their human amusement park.  They loved that last hour! I loved that last hour!  I will still never get the first 3/4 of my day back, I can't get back the times today I raised my voice in instances that were not stress worthy.  Of course my floors are still dirty and even though we discussed it and I apologized my husband can not wipe from his mind my unsupportive attitude towards him that I had this morning, but somehow after letting go for the last hour of the girls evening and choosing to embrace their little giggles and wiggling toes that all too soon will be spent with someone other than me on a Thursday night, I feel so much more complete.  I am not a perfect mother, I can never begin to be a wife suitable to give advice on how this thing called love and marriage works, and please, know that my relationship with God is an ever growing process, but I'm working on it and to my family, my God and myself I think that's what makes all the difference. So, the answer to my do-over can not come true but I go to bed with a happy heart and a family full of love!

Just my little secret...

Tonight was spaghetti night and I thought I might share my little ingredient that makes my recipe fabulous...or at least to my family! ZESTY ITALIAN DRESSING. I bought this dressing for another recipe and it was so good I thought I would try a little in my spaghetti sauce. Man, it gave it just the right taste! Go ahead, try it...

Time to get outside and stretch!

Wow, what a beautiful Day! I took the girls out for some fun in our backyard. I really should do this more often. Mac loves to sit in the greenest part of the yard and just roll in the...well weeds I guess is what our yard would be called!! It's soft none the less! Ember on the other hand enjoyed a handful of mud, leaves and spent her time getting as dirty as possible! We all had a great time and I got some really great photos.

Breakfast of champions...

So we ( mainly I) are tired of the same boring breakfast. Peanut butter toast, pop tarts or Dora cereal. I told Mac Thursday night that mommy would make a special breakfast and I lived up to my word! I started with adding blueberries to my normal pancake batter. They were on sale last week and I wish I would have bought more! As I was flipping my first pancake ( or pup cake as Mac calls them...I think she's confused them with strawberry shortcakes dog) I remembered a recipe for vanilla syrup that I found on pinterest. I quickly pulled it up on my phone and I had all the ingredients!! So I whisked it all together and came up with a beautiful, tasty and quite heavenly breakfast I believe could be served to royalty!! In the end, ember devoured her pancake but was finished and crying to get out of her chair by the time I was ready to sit down, Mac ate a couple bites and decided tinkerbell needed her attention more than mommy needed her approval on her pancakes , and derricks mouth hurt so he wasn't able to eat. Basically I sat down to a cold pancake and ate alone but I'm still very proud of my creation and the glorious dream of a family breakfast it could have brought me!

Snack time!

Im always needing more containers. With two little piggies I'm required to carry snacks at all times! I saw a little tip online and thought I would try it. All you do is take the Refrigerated creamer bottles, tear the label off, soak and clean the bottle and voila...a free snack container! The spout is big enough for pouring. The example I saw used the larger bottles but the small worked well too. I might even try letting Mackenzie decorate with paint or markers and personalize it...haven't gotten that far yet!

Birthday spa time

Today is my birthday so I decided a little gift to myself would be this hot oil hair treatment I read about on pinterest. Man I love pinterest!! When you don't have any money to spare you can find something you already have and make something glorious out of it!! So back to my hair...First you start with 1/4 cup of olive oil ( the recipe called for almond oil but I used olive oil and it still did the trick) then 1Tbls of honey. Warm this in the microwave for 20-30 seconds and then mix together. Now pour it all over your head and massage into you scalp!! Make sure your hair is dry when you do this. Wrap a towel or a shower cap over your head and let it set for 30 min. Now just relax!!! After 30 minutes is up rinse and shampoo your hair ...rinse well, it's oily and sticky!!! Now dry and style! My hair is naturally very oily so I expected this to not work well for me but I was impressed. My hair is soft, not greasy. It's very shiny and was easy to comb through! Try it...if anything you'll feel pampered like I did!

Ready ,set, blog...

I really want to blog and to blog well! It's this thing in me that just wants to make a difference, let people know about my life, meet new friends and show women , moms, wives, daughters , sisters, other Christians they're not alone in the emotions we face day to day. I don't know what I'm doing but who really does when they start something new! Life isn't easy but it's even worse when we don't look at what good is going on around us and what blessings we've been given! Today we all were ready for church...we walk out to our only working car right now. It's barely working due to a transmission that spits out fluid and empties itself every other week and our greatest issue was a tire that blew causing us to need a rim , tire and strut all of which our bank account in the red can not help right now. Long story short ( or short for me at least! Lol) we've been driving on a donut for two weeks now and as we start to put the girls in the car for church ( the only place I will actually bring the kids with the donut due to how unsafe it is) we notice it's completely flat and has a big gash in it! So, pretty much we felt hopeless. Thanks to our neighbors heading out we flagged them down and asked to borrow their car. Feeling very helpless and broken I walk into church wanting to tell the whole auditorium about our misfortune and bad luck. I sit down only to hear the band playing a song about all the blessings we've been given and how we take it all for granted. This is what got me ; "A better believer would look to the skies
And shout "hallelujah" with tears in his eyes
Open his heart and start givin it all away
When I take a hard look at myself
And count my blessings I can't but help
But wonder if there's been some kind of mistake
This life of mine should belong to a better believer" wow! I've got 2 outstanding beautiful , healthy and fabulous daughters. A husband who's trying to do what he can to give us a better life while I stay at home with our girls. A home that's more than I ever thought we'd be able to have. Family that are all serving the Lord in some way and who love me. Amazing nephew, adorable niece, a church family that are there in all aspects of our lives...I could go on and on! Yes, looking at our circumstances right now is overwhelming and disheartening at times but oh may I never take for granted all I have been given! I am so blessed and instead of wanting to share all my troubles and fears and needs with everyone why am I not wanting to shout from the mountaintop what God has done in my marriage, my life, my heart, my church and my world? I'm one blessed girl and Gods not done yet!!